I have to admit to a certain wicked delight in conspiracy theories. Be honest. Who is not entertained and intrigued by them?

The moon landings were faked? George Bush Sr. masterminded the Kennedy assassination? 9-11 was a false flag attack? The Illuminati are plotting world domination? Hitler is still living on the dark side of the moon?

I love this stuff.

Here are a couple of my personal favorites: Queen Elizabeth was really a man. That would be the legend of the Boy of Bisley. Read all about it. 

A few other of  my favorites floating around the internet are that Bill Clinton is really a Rockefeller and Jimmy Carter is actually one of old Joe Kennedy’s boys and the British royal family are, in reality, child sacrificing, reptilian cannibals.

And did you know that John Hinckley–the would be assassin of Ronald Reagan comes from a high end Texas oil family? His father was a friend and key donor to Bush Sr.’s presidential bid (which he lost to Reagan) and remember who Reagan’s VP was? Yep. Bush Sr. In fact Neil Bush, one of W and Jeb’s brothers was due to have dinner with John Hinckley’s brother the night after the assassination attempt. Read about it here.

We have plenty of conspiracy theories in the Catholic Church too. Pope John Paul I was poisoned by the big money people. Pope John XXIII was a secret Freemason, Pope Benedict was forced out by the gay mafia and Pope Pius XII was a Nazi sympathizer.

The curious thing about conspiracy theories is that there is always just enough truth to make you wonder. Elizabeth I really did have a deep voice, wear wigs and lots of make up (to cover his beard) John Hinckley’s family really were pals of Bush Sr.

One of the things that intrigues me about conspiracy theories is the state of mind and emotions among the enthusiasts. The whole thing is driven by resentment. By “resentment” I don’t mean you’re mad because Johnny got a bigger piece of pie than you. I mean a deep seated grouse against the world. The person driven by resentment has a core of unhappiness and they need to find someone to blame. If they are feeling downtrodden or they have been wounded by life then its so easy to blame the big dark forces that are “out there”.

Discovering the conspiracy gives the resentment driven person an ego boost. They know the real truth! They are therefore superior not only to the secretive people of the “deep state” but they are also superior to all the other poor mugs who have been taken in by the conspiracy lies, cover ups and smoke screens.

This feels good. Very good. And if the person is not careful they will return to the conspiracy theories like any addict–always looking for another hit, and like any addict, each hit needs to be a bit bigger and better than the last because all false highs dissipate.

Conspiracy theories are intriguing because they lead us to believe in some other secret power controlling everything. There is always a secret and the secret breeds more secrets and lies. On the one hand this is an accurate understanding of reality. Human history, human relationships, human psychology really is composed of layer upon layer of lies, self deception and more self deception. This is the kingdom of the Father of Lies so conspiracy theorists have got a handle on one aspect of reality.

The world system really is a complex web of falsehoods, half truths, outright lies, fake news and deception.

While I find the conspiracy theories intriguing I also find them idiotic.

They’re crazy for a couple of reasons: firstly, it doesn’t take much to poke holes in the majority of conspiracy theories. A few facts and some common sense will usually do it.

Of course, this is where it gets weird: if you present contrary evidence to the person who believes in the conspiracy theory they will just say, “That ‘evidence’ was faked.” When you point out that there is no positive evidence for their theory they will say, “Of course there’s no ‘evidence’. That only goes to show how effective their cover up really is!!”

“Of course Queen Elizabeth II doesn’t appear to be a reptilian shape shifter. Being disguised as a nice old lady is exactly what you would expect from a reptilian shape shifter!”

While all of this is amusing in a way, it is also disturbing because when a conspiracy theory becomes too widespread it actually gains traction and people really do believe it, and believing conspiracy theories never ends happily.

Some time ago I came up with the two foolproof replies to the conspiracy theorist. The conversation goes like this:

“So do you believe that there is a secret cabal of extremely wealthy people who are planning world domination, and that they are doing so through the use of the military, the media, politics, academia and every avenue open to them?”

Conspiracy theorist nods, “Absolutely.”

“So do I.”

“Really?”

“Yes. But why is that such a big deal and furthermore, why is this a surprise? The fact of the matter is, this is not really a secret at all. This is simply the way the world turns. This is the way it has always been. Rich and powerful people have always gotten together to become richer and more powerful. They’ve always operated behind the scenes and used every means possible to control the world. This is what rich and powerful people do. This is what the servants of Satan have always done. It’s not really a surprise and it’s not really that secret.”

“Oh. I guess not.”

“I have a question for you.”

“What’s that?”

“What are you going to do about it?”

“Whaddya mean?”

“I mean, let’s say it’s true that the 9-11 attacks were faked or LBJ killed Kennedy or Pope John XXIII was a Freemason or Bush Sr. planned Reagan’s assassination? What are you going to do about it?”

“Whaddya mean?”

“If you can do something about it, then go ahead and do it. but If you can’t do anything about it, why worry?”

“But it’s important!”

“No it’s not. Why not just do what you can with what you have where you are to love God and love your neighbor? and if the world ends tomorrow because of an evil plot or they come and lock you up for your religion or the bombs start dropping, then do what you can at that time.”

In the meantime, do you want another beer?”